About the Woman I’m Becoming I really enjoyed starting my blog journey by honoring my big brother Billy. That first post was raw, real, and necessary. But as this journey continues—through healing, growth, and everything in between—I felt like it was time to pause and take a closer look at me. Not the parts that everyone already sees, but the layers people might not fully know or understand. Yes, I live much of my life out loud, but there are still areas I keep private. And at the tender age of 48.5 (yes, November is around the corner… LOL), I’m learning that I’m still becoming. Still unfolding. Still growing into the woman God designed me to be. So let’s go…
Over the past year, I’ve noticed so much change in myself emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Emotionally, I’ve learned how to control my emotions instead of letting them control me. I won’t pretend I’ve mastered it—but baby, I’ve come a long way. Mentally, my workouts have been life-changing. Bootcamp and my daily walks—whether I’m walking with friends or solo—give me peace, clarity, and the space to recharge. Sometimes I listen to podcasts, sometimes it’s music, and sometimes I just enjoy the quiet. Spiritually, I know I need to go even deeper. I listen to messages and attend services, but I feel the pull to dive further into my faith, and that is truly one of my goals.
I’m really falling in love with the woman I’m becoming. I’m learning to identify what I actually like—not just what I was raised to like or what others expected from me. And that’s not to say anything negative about my upbringing—it was solid. But now, I’ve developed my own views and preferences, and that’s part of my evolution. At my core, I’m a giver. I’m nurturing. And while I have desires to build my brand and grow my platform, home remains my happy place. I can’t wait to one day create a home that feels safe, soft, and full—for me and for the one God brings into my life.
One of the biggest things I’m proud of leaving behind? That old habit of creating full-blown stories in my head and treating them like fact. I used to assume, react, and spiral based on made-up scenarios. Now? I ask questions. I pause. I seek clarity. That alone has shifted so much in my relationships and my peace of mind.
Another big shift? Expressing myself in the moment. I don’t let things sit and build anymore. If something bothers me, I address it—with grace, but directly. Some people aren’t used to this version of BrandiJ, and that’s okay. It allows me to stay in alignment, communicate openly, and not let resentment take root.
When old patterns try to creep back in, I address them head-on. I apologize when I need to. I explain myself if it brings understanding. But I’ve also learned that sometimes, when others have already made up their minds about you, it’s no longer your job to convince them. You let time and God reveal your heart.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that boundaries and needs must be spoken—clearly. You can’t expect people to guess what you want and then be upset when they don’t deliver. It’s not just what you say, but how and when you say it that makes all the difference. And I’m learning both.
Doubt still tries to show up daily. Whether it’s about love, purpose, or my age. Especially after recently losing someone who was married for 65 years—it stirs something in me. I still desire marriage. I still desire a partner to build with. And yes, sometimes that little voice whispers, “Is it too late?” But I choose not to believe that. God wakes me up every day for a reason, and that gives me hope.
I celebrate my wins, big and small. If I lose one pound—you best believe I might reward myself with a little something! If I hit a personal or business milestone, I bless someone else or do something that brings me joy. I’ve learned that waiting on others to celebrate you will leave you waiting forever. Celebrate yourself.
I’m incredibly grateful for my daughter MaKenzye. She’s my biggest cheerleader. Whenever I’m down, she speaks life back into me. She encourages me, reminds me of my worth, and even gives me dating advice (yes, seriously LOL). She wants to see her mom happy, and that is priceless.
Self-love and self-respect for me right now looks like not being afraid to start over if something doesn’t feel right. I’ve learned that forgiveness, grace, and patience are necessary—but so are boundaries. Just because you forgive doesn’t mean you grant full access. That lesson alone could be a whole separate blog post.
When I envision my future, I see balance. I see a woman who’s thriving at home and professionally. I see myself being a safe space for my future husband while also growing my blog, my brand, and my platform. I want both—and I believe it’s possible to have both.
My past mistakes don’t define me. The grace I’ve received from others—I now extend to people. My mistakes have become stepping stones, not stumbling blocks.
Right now, I protect my peace fiercely. My circle is so small I don’t even know if it qualifies as a full circle—but it’s full of peace, and life is good.
The one thing I’m willing to fight for fiercely as I continue to grow? Love. I want to experience what it means to fight for love instead of running from it. I want to stay when things get hard and see what’s on the other side of not giving up. And when the time is right, that man will be seen, heard, happy, and loved—because I’m speaking that into existence.
If I could write a letter to myself from five years ago, I’d simply say: You’re not behind. You’re not a failure. Your route in life doesn’t look like anyone else’s—but God still has plans for you. You’ve seen nothing yet, BrandiJ. Keep going.
I hope you enjoyed this deeper look into my journey. And if you have questions or want to share your story with me, email me anytime. We’re all becoming someone new every day.
Until next time,
BrandiJ 💋